Evelina

Last week I lost someone who was a major influence in my life. She wasn't someone I talked to often, nor someone I even thought about a lot. But she was the person who helped me become who I am today.
Her name was Evelina Smith and when I first met her she was a 30 something black woman who wore outrageous wigs. BIG wigs. She had just been hired as the librarian at the local branch campus of a major university. She hired me as student librarian on the work-study program. She also befriended me. We didn't have heart-to-heart talks or anything like that. But she did give advice when needed (and only if she thought you were ready to hear it). I had worked as a student librarian in high school (with another fabulous woman, but more on her another time) and had actually acquired quite a bit of library skills. Evelina saw that and suggested I become a librarian. I didn't want to, so I took a theater degree instead.
Then when my fiance also planned a theater degree and we realized that one of us needed a job that would feed and clothe us, I talked with her again. She still thought I would make a good librarian and she wrote letters to that effect to get me into grad school. I applied to my alma mater and to hers. Mine turned me down...something about my GPA not being high enough. Missed by .02, and even though I did my BFA in 3 years while working nearly full time, they just plain did not want me! The same day they gave me the final rejection, I got my acceptance to her alma mater - which had a MUCH better rating in the library world than mine. I went on to graduate with a 4.0 and worked as a librarian for 20+ years.
Evelina was delighted. Unfortunately, we had a falling out. I had joined Weight Watchers and lost quite a bit of weight, when she mentioned how good I looked, I suggested she could join me. She was greatly offended, she didn't think she needed that. We didn't speak for too long. I felt bad, but didn't know how to right the situation. I was too young. Now I know the answer was to just say 'I'm sorry' and keeping on talking. But then I didn't understand.
Eventually we did talk, though never about the weight thing. She did meet my children, who remember her fondly, and always she adored my husband.
What I remember most about her was her generousity. She helped people. When someone needed a job, she helped them find it. She encouraged talent where she found it. She loved plants and made her library into a jungle (in fact my youngest was so disappointed when she arrived at college to find the plants gone, since Evelina had retired) She wore a ring on every finger and necklaces in multiples. I remember her showing off a beautiful emerald ring and someone asking who got it for her. She said she bought it for herself and a person should be prepared to buy things for themselves and not wait to be given something.
In memory of Evelina, I bought myself a gold bracelet. Much more than I usually would spend on myself, but a girl should be prepared to buy herself something nice once in a while - just for her! Thank you for everything, Evelina. The world is sadder for your passing.